So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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