So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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