My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
