Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
