Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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