Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
not ubering you a puppy
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
