the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
