If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
