Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
