Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
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