nut hugger
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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