It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
