she was so not down for the gang bang
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
