people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
