I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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