Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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