I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I want to fling myself into the sun
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
