I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
His nipple licking is glorious
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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