I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
