After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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