Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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