I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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