How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
