dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
and you fell through a lawn chair
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
