I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
