Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
