He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
