I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I touched a dick in church today
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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