white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
