is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
