maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
