What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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