Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
