She's JV to your varsity
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
