Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
