Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
