I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I think i got beer on your cat.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
