I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
