i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Randomize
