Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
