Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls

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(720): View more from Colorado

Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong

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(515): View more from Iowa

Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.

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(636): View more from Missouri

she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina

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(406): View more from Montana

I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though

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(731): View more from Tennessee

Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.

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(323): View more from California

Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?

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(+61): View more from Australia

Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.

(631): View more from New York

whose this? and thank you

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