ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
