I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
