I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
