I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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