I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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