Non-Jews are for practice
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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