Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
