my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
jump out the window naked night went bad
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
