I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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