is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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