I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
