I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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